Recently I wrote about twenty years of lessons, one of them is something that I keep living repeatedly. It is one that I recently got a refresher course in, it is about relationships. Let's chat about it.
Relationships can drain you until you have nothing left. I am learning how to avoid, and end those relationships right now. It is still something that I am working to perfect as it is not always obvious in the beginning who will be a vampire of your energy and cause your emotions to go from extreme to the other.
Putting Their Stress on You
Friends will not put their stress on you when you are already stressed. Instead they will have an equal exchange with you allowing you to vent also. I recently met a couple that likes to tell others their problems, real or imaginary while not listening to yours. When I say not listening I mean they make it about them always. It can start with one or both listening to you about your problems and instantly something you said leads them to tell you a story about whatever problem they faced a year or two before.
Triggering Nerves
Some times you just need somebody to listen without saying anything. Not everyone understands the concept. There are those who will start getting loud saying things about what you are relating.
Do they know they're making it worse?
The amateur psychologist routine is annoying when they know nothing about human nature, emotion or you and how you handle situations. The analysis is not welcome, but they keep talking just to hear the sound of their own voice.
Paranoia
Anything you say can be turned into a story about them. Things like imposing beliefs on you without bothering to ask about your beliefs are just the beginning. They will also impose their daily routines and rituals on you. Little things like letting their children come to visit whenever they want, and not telling them to knock before they enter.
Manners in Others' Homes
Teaching your children manners in other people's homes requires you to have manners. That is a different lesson, but those who would allow their children to run wild and tear up other people's things because they have not taught them any better is a sign that they themselves do not have any manners. We'll discuss this further next time.
Putting Their Stress on You
Friends will not put their stress on you when you are already stressed. Instead they will have an equal exchange with you allowing you to vent also. I recently met a couple that likes to tell others their problems, real or imaginary while not listening to yours. When I say not listening I mean they make it about them always. It can start with one or both listening to you about your problems and instantly something you said leads them to tell you a story about whatever problem they faced a year or two before.
Triggering Nerves
Some times you just need somebody to listen without saying anything. Not everyone understands the concept. There are those who will start getting loud saying things about what you are relating.
Do they know they're making it worse?
The amateur psychologist routine is annoying when they know nothing about human nature, emotion or you and how you handle situations. The analysis is not welcome, but they keep talking just to hear the sound of their own voice.
Paranoia
Anything you say can be turned into a story about them. Things like imposing beliefs on you without bothering to ask about your beliefs are just the beginning. They will also impose their daily routines and rituals on you. Little things like letting their children come to visit whenever they want, and not telling them to knock before they enter.
Manners in Others' Homes
Teaching your children manners in other people's homes requires you to have manners. That is a different lesson, but those who would allow their children to run wild and tear up other people's things because they have not taught them any better is a sign that they themselves do not have any manners. We'll discuss this further next time.
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